Piloxing and new stuff to come...

The blogosphere is filled with post holiday confessions and pre-New Year resolutions. I'm pretty much in the same boat. I ate poorly & didn't exercise for most of the month of December. Monday morning though, I got up and worked out, forty minutes worth of workouts I found OnDemand and 2 miles of walking on the treadmill. Tuesday morning I did some pilates and another 2 miles. Nothing spectacular but I gotta start somewhere. I've been eating clean for 3 days. Starting off the day on the right foot with exercise isn't easy but it helps get me in the right mental place. I've already planned what workout is on the docket for tomorrow...piloxing. Seriously, that's what it's called. According to the description, it's a fusion of kickboxing and pilates. I'll let you know how that works. It's kinda fun looking through the 100+ options of free workout routines offered OnDemand (plus it gives me something to do in the wee hours of the morning when I'm up nursing the lil pumpkin).
Hubby goes back to work next week and then I can get my "real" routine started, which I can easily say I'm looking forward to. While I love the fact that he's been home to help me for the last 6 weeks, we're starting to get on each others nerves lol.
One other thing, I finally got around to ordering my new scale and it's supposed to be delivered tomorrow. On one hand I'm happy, on the other I'm scared. There is no cheating with a digital scale. I can't "accidently" adjust the dial like I could with my old one. At least it will keep honest.
Stay tuned, coming up I've got some new yummy snacks to share and and I'll review the scale too, just for fun...

Eating Willy-Nilly? Nope...not me

It's working! I have no idea why I feel kinda shocked that eating well and tracking calories is working. Silly right? I've had a great week with my eating. Actually, I had a difficult time even hitting 1800 calories most days (while eating good foods). If I were eating crap it'd be no problem I'm sure :) Next week I'll be hopping on the tm in the morning to boost my fat burn. Hopefully I can still hit my 185 goal by Jan 1st. I'm not sure if it'll happen or not. Either way, if I do or don't, I'm on the right track. Monday morning I'll weigh and give you all an update...gives me more incentive to behave myself today. We have a family dinner out tonight and then an "after party" without the kids (except my new pumpkin...she gets to tag along with momma and daddy). I'm going to eat light this morning and adjust my calories for the 2 or 3 beers I plan on consuming this evening.
Hubby cracked me up yesterday by telling me that he was going to research how many calories I needed while breastfeeding. He told me I couldn't just eat "willy-nilly" and if I wanted to lose weight we'd switch to formula since Lia is the the most important. I had to explain that I'd done several days of research and figuring to come up with my current "plan" and that I can do both...lose weight and nurse. Last week and the week before I was all "willy-nilly" and my milk suffered. This week has been great... yay :) His response "Oh, okay, I didn't know you'd done that already." Ahhh, gotta love 'em!
For my own curiosity I'm going to get on the scale this morning. We reset the scale yesterday (I had it adjusted a couple pounds lighter. I know, I know... cheating!) Hopefully it'll motivate me not to overindulge. Next week I'm ordering a new digital scale that measures body fat and water, and keeps me honest. Merry Christmas to me LOL.
Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Have a great weekend everyone!

I AM a tortoise...

I wanted to give everyone a quick update on how things are going. I'm having a difficult time finding the time to blog these days. My brain isn't quite functioning at full capacity lol. Right now I'm battling off the cold my 6 yr old brought home from school & dealing with a sick 2 yr old and keeping a newborn healthy(along with the everyday life of a mom and upcoming holidays). Last week was bad eating-wise. I cut back my calories too far for a couple days and my milk supply was starting to suffer...so I went the opposite direction with calories and overdid it. I also made the decision not to continue running again for a couple reasons: 1) It was very uncomfortable (and painful at times) with my chest being as large as it is right now, 2) After running I noticed a significant decrease in my milk. Running is just not the right exercise for me at this point. So I've decided that power walking is the way to go at first. I sat down this weekend and made a new daily schedule for myself (which I'll implement after the cold is gone and I feel better). I also did some research and figuring on how many calories I need to be consuming. The verdict...2050 with no exercise, 2300 with 3x/week exercise. These are my maintenance numbers. So I'm shooting for 1800-2200 a day and I'll be calorie cycling like I've done in the past. I also went back to using Sparkpeople.com to help me track my caloric intake. I need to do this slow and steady. I'll evaluate in a week if this is working and make adjustments as needed. Yesterday was on point with food and today has been good as well. Lia turns 1 month old tomorrow and I feel like I'm on the right track. Slow and steady wins the race...

Not so brilliant...

Sunday morning I got up, ran 2 miles, did some chores and then decided I needed to go shopping. What did I need? A pair of jeans. Seriously, it's December and I'm running around in capris because I don't have any pants that fit. So off to the thrift store I went...cause I really don't want to pay $30+ for a pair of jeans that I'm not going to wear for very long (because I AM going to lose this extra weight). This was probably not the most brilliant plan I've ever had. Why you ask? It was a bit more of a "reality check" than I was prepared for. I ended up walking out with nothing, barely keeping it together. On the way home I was practically in tears a couple times. By the time I made it home I thought I had it together. Unfortunately, I didn't. I ended up standing in the kitchen just bawling. Part of it I'm sure was hormones and a little sleep deprivation (hey, 3 week old baby in the house). The other part was pure frustration, disgust and any other emotional upheaval you want to throw in there.
My poor husband. He's being so supportive. That's almost part of the problem. Hearing that he'll love me either way & that I didn't gain it overnight and won't lose it overnight...not really helpful when you're in angst. But I know he's trying. He's trying to help me and for that I'm grateful.
I've avoided blogging about the shopping trip for the past few days because I was wallowing... and eating. Like that's gonna do anything but make it worse. Time to pull it back together. Rome wasn't built in a day right? I need to accept the way my body looks right now and make the changes necessary to fix the things that are bothering me. The fact is, I've had 3 kids and gained large amounts of weight each time. But I lost it after the last two, I can do it again. I just need to give myself the time to do it though. And right now my priority is nursing by little pumpkin. I need to give myself the time to figure out the right formula so I don't lose my milk (I had a couple days of low supply due to not eating quite enough).
So I've made peace with the fact that my body looks the way it does right now and I'm going to go buy a pair of jeans that works for me. Hopefully I won't have to wear them for long! :)

December Goals...

As promised I took a new "before" picture. It's posted in the sidebar. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
On a more pleasant note, I managed to run 2 miles today....woo! Go me. It was slow, but I did it. I'm working on getting my endurance back first. I know the speed will come with time.
I decided to take on a challenge for the month of December...running 26.1 miles.
It was time for some concrete goals and this one seemed doable. The plan is to go back to running 4 days a week (Sun, Tu, Th, Fri) but I'm going to keep the miles light...1-2 mi at first. I'm hoping by the end of the month I can run a 3 miler. Pilates or Yoga I'll be doing 3 days a week along with pushups (M,W,F). That's it for the fitness aspect for now. My weight goal is 185 by 1/1/11. I'm trying not to get obsessive and ease back into the "weight loss" mode so I don't make myself crazy. My main focus is going to be making good food choices and eating when I'm hungry, not just because something sounds good.
Here's to great December! For all of us...

Did you miss me?

Hello again bloggy world! So yeah, it's been a while (insert sheepish smile here). To be perfectly honest, I hit a point in my pregnancy that I just gave up. I said "SCREW IT, I'll deal with it after this is done". So now the day of reckoning has come. Lia made her grand entrance via c-section 2 weeks ago on Nov 15th. She was 8 lbs 3 oz and 19.75" long (for any of you interested). And now, momma's ready to get down to business. I'll admit there were a few days of wallowing and regret over the amount of weight I let myself gain but it's over and done. Now I have to fix it...again. Thankfully I've done it before which gives me the confidence to do it again.
If you're curious, my final weight while pregnant...217 lbs. A little scary since I started out at 145 lbs. It's less than where I ended my first two pregnancies, but still, not good. This morning at two weeks post partum I weighed in at 195 lbs. So, that's where I'm at. I'll be posting new "before" pictures soon. Hopefully there are still a few of you out there who'll be reading and commenting.
I haven't really set any concrete goals yet. I'm working on that. I'm also nursing so I've got to be careful to get the right amount of calories...it's a fine line. I started exercising today but I'm starting out slow. Can't wait to get back to my former fitness level, it was a little humbling today. Carrying an extra 50 lbs really slows you down! Anyway, that's the update. Time to move forward...and watch the scale numbers drop!

Birds, Worms....you know

So here's the deal. I'm really not a morning person. But I started thinking, if I want to get any type of exercise done before the piglets wake up in the morning, I gotta get up EARLY. You know, the early bird...blah, blah, blah. My husband has to get up at 3:15 a.m. for work (yucky huh?) so he has learned to be a morning person. Now I'm trying. I "slept in" till 4:15 this morning but yesterday I was up and at 'em at 3:45. It actually works really well. By the time my kids wake up between 6 and 6:30, Momma is ready to go. The exercise is done and I am ready to tackle my chores for the day. I'm going to test it out and see how it goes, but so far so good. Next week is probably going to throw me off a bit since I'm going to visit my parents for a couple days but I'll deal with that when it comes. I'm making the effort to stay fit. I really don't want to have to start at square one again after the baby. I am going to be recovering from a C-section and that's a big enough hurdle. I've picked out the first half marathon I want to do post-partum (I know, I'm crazy) ☺ It's at the end of March so that should give me time to get trained since that will make my little girl about 5 months old. We'll see. (I gotta have a plan and a goal or I go crazy!!!)
Anyway, here's to getting the biggest worm ☺

Back to it again...

Once again I've been MIA for a while. I'm such a bad blogger sometimes. I've actually been trying to stay off the computer which means that the blogging suffers. I've also been busy. Family visiting and hey, it's summer! I missed my updated bump picture on the 1st too. I do have news to share though....the ultrasound was last week. It's a girl!! Looking at this picture, I feel like I've gotten as big as a house. I actually didn't gain any weight between the last 2 appointments, but then 4th of July hit. And things have been off eating wise for about 10 days. I have discovered, bread and I are a really bad combo. The sweets and fattening food cravings are back. *Scream and pull out hair*
I ate Sour cream and Cheddar Ruffles for breakfast this morning...why?? Because they were there! But then, I went to the local Farmer's Market....and look what I gotLook at all that yumminess! All for like $20. I didn't even stick all the fruit in the picture either. (P.S. the KettleCorn is not for me, but I HAVE to get it for the kids first thing. They are popcorn addicts). I figure a little isn't going to hurt them every once in a while.
Now, for me to get back on track with the eating. No more ice cream & bread 'n butter. Back to the whole foods, the yummy stuff that makes me feel good when I eat it...

General update...

No, this is not my baby...I snagged the photo from the pregnancy web site I visit. I just love the shot! (This baby is 18 weeks as is my lil bean). Anyway, it's been a few days since I've checked in and I thought I would write a quick post. I just got back from a 2 mi run. I was tired tonight but forced myself out the door. The plan was to run 3 but at mile 1 I made the executive decision to turn and head for home. Round ligament pain had flared up (which is like a bad side stitch) and it hung on till I was almost home. Coupled with that, I wasn't sure my bladder would make it the whole way. The baby is sitting low and most of the run I felt like I might pee my pants...sorry if that's too much information for some of you. ☺
I still consider tonights' workout a successful one though. I got out and ran. Not sure how much longer I'll keep running though. At this point the baby is about 5.5" long and almost 6 oz. We'll see as the baby gets bigger. Plus, it's summer here in California!
Next week is going to be an interesting one. Some family is coming for a visit...not sure when they are getting here or when they are leaving (oy!). I've been doing pretty well eating clean. If I had to put a percentage on it I'd say 85-90% of the time. Boy can I tell though when I eat something that isn't exactly "appropriate". My body lets me know! It gives me more reason to eat well....

Boo-Yeah!

So yeah, I kicked some running butt this morning! LOL. Kinda kidding, kinda not. I ran the same 5K that started things off for me last year. This was the first race I ran after my son was born, and the first I had run since I started losing weight after having him. If you want to read that post, you can here.Anyway, I had a blast today. The goal was to finish under 27 min. and my time was 26:37...3 min slower than my PR but 4:30 min faster than 1 yr ago. I ran strong, I placed 1st in my age group and I felt great. While I couldn't catch my "targets", I didn't let anyone pass me either. It made me chuckle when the guy that was hot on my heels told me after the race..."I was running like hell to try and catch you but it just wasn't happening!". I decided not to hurt his ego and mention I was 4.5 months pregnant :)
What a fabulous way to start the weekend. Hope everyone has a great one!

I'm so excited...

First I want to say "Thanks" for all the nice comments on my bump picture. You guys are the greatest! For those of you wondering, I did iron out the details for childcare on Saturday morning so I will be running my 5K. I can't wait! This is kind of a meaningful race for me because it was the first 5k I ran last year after I started losing weight.
Food-wise I haven't tried anything really earth shattering lately so not much to share on that front. I did find out that I need to start my day off with a protein, like eggs. I was eating oatmeal and then NEEDING a snack mid-morning to make it till lunch. Protein holds me much better. I made turkey chili one night and that's been perfect as leftovers for lunch. I also made garlic/lemon hummus and add a little to my salads...can you say yummy? Anybody have ideas for tofu? I just cube it and heat/brown it up with a little red wine vinegar before tossing it in my salads. Any other suggestions?
Stay tuned...I have an interesting recipe waiting in the wings. Pictures and review to come soon!

Most boring post ever...

Quickly checking in... I'm doing well, still eating high quality foods when I get hungry. Have had a mild desire for a soda last few days but I think that's mostly because it's sitting in the fridge staring at me every time I open the door. One "trick " I've heard is to mix sparkling water with pomegranate juice as a healthy alternative. I might try that.
Just got home from a 3 mile run and my muscles are feeling tight...think it's time to do some yoga and stretch out. Keep moving forward friends!

New Bump Picture

I know I missed putting up a bump picture on the 1st of June. To be perfectly honest, I was pretty disgusted with myself and the weight I had gained in the month of May. And things weren't getting better. I was very out of control and I didn't want to have to memorialize my "failure". So here is a make up picture I took this morning... Little side note, I was pleasantly surprised when I got on the scale this morning. I'm back down to 165 lbs. Last week I about fell over when I got on the scale and saw 174. Let me be clear though, I am NOT trying to lose weight. I figure my body is just regulating after eliminating all the crap I was eating. But now I'm eating good food & I'm not hungry. And the best part, I don't feel disgusting after a meal either. I have energy and I'm back to running. These things are HUGE for me!
While I understand that a 20 lb weight gain at this point is pretty bad, I am back in control now. I still think my original goal to stay under 180 is doable, especially with the way I've turned things around. I'm feeling the baby move around more and more...which is always so much fun! My ultrasound is scheduled for July 2nd so hopefully baby cooperates and we'll know boy or girl soon. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Night & Day

Can I get a Hallelujah? Seriously, I feel fan-freakin'-tastic right now. It's CRAZY how big...no, how huge...of a difference eating well has made. I have been on point with my food. Eating clean and saying "No Thanks" to the other stuff. Hubby bought a bunch of stuff- ice cream, soda, candy. Momma just made hummus and bought some almond butter ☺
And guess what, I went for a run tonight...like I used to, after the kids crashed. My headaches are gone so I'm not ready to collapse after I put the kids to bed. Yesterday I considered registering for a 5K race that's coming up on Saturday but I refrained. Tonight I ran 3 miles without a problem so I'm seriously considering it. If I can iron out the details for child care I think I will. It makes me excited just to think about it!

Fruits & Veggies & Flax seeds... Oh My!

Okay people, I think I'm back. Note I said "think". Kidding. I've had 2 solid days of decent eating, which has been unheard of in the past 2 months or so. It's time to make some major changes in my diet. One main reason, headaches. All the sudden not only do I feel like crap after all the crap I've been eating, I'm looking like crap and getting these headaches that make me feel like my head is going to explode. Not good. Reality check. I can't treat my body like a garbage disposal and expect to feel good. After 2 days eating cleaner, I feel better. Enough to keep me motivated that I am on the right track. So you want to know what I'm doing. It's really pretty simple. I'm doing as many whole foods as possible. I'm also ditching dairy & gluten. Good fats like nuts, avocado and flax seeds are in. So are lots of fruits and veggies, lean protein and legumes. There's more to it of course, but that's a nutshell.
The goal is to keep me from blowing up any more than I already have. Again I'm working on training myself to eat when I'm hungry...not shoveling food in just because. This is going to be a challenge, but one I feel able to conquer. I want to be healthy and strong. I want my kids healthy and strong. I want to have an "easy" recovery from my c-section in November. If hubby can't get on board 100% (even though this was his idea) it doesn't matter. I will do what I need to do. I will learn to say no again -"No honey, we don't need 10 candy bars". And yes to the good stuff "YES I love my treadmill!".
Stay tuned. As I come across awesome recipes I'll share. Healthy me is back in the game!

Things are tough sometimes...

I haven't posted since May 1st...shame on me I suppose. Right now though, there is a lot going on in my life. Blogging has not been a priority and I'm okay with that. Things are most likely going to be sporadic for a while. My mother-in-law is very ill right now. I won't go into details because I don't feel this is the place...it is a personal thing that my family and I are going through. No offense to you faithful readers...
As I tend to be a stress eater, I've packed on a few more pounds than I'd like lately. I also haven't been exercising very much. Today I broke that cycle and got on the treadmill...yeah me. I also got a prenatal kettle bell workout (and 20 lb kettle bell), which is fun and a great workout. Speaking of which, I'm heading to do that now, while the monkey is still napping.
Keep moving forward my friends!

The bump picture...

Don't have much time this morning but I wanted to get this done while I was thinking about it. My weight this morning to start off the month was 155 lbs. That means I have gained a total of 10lbs at this point....not great, but considering that I gained it all by the 7th of April and have maintained since then, I okay with it. The goal now is to only gain about 2 lbs in May. I am definitely feeling more in control and making better choices. I ran 3 miles last night which felt awesome.
Anyway, as you can see in the picture, the belly is starting to poke out. I'm now entering the phase where I feel like I look fat, not pregnant. Normal stage ☺ Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Blog My Run Challenge

First let me say thanks to my bloggy buddy Diane for inspiring me to join in her "Blog My Run" challenge. I couldn't resist cause hey, there's a prize...who wouldn't want to win a book and an old pair of her sneakers as a trophy? If you want to check it out, click here.
So here are some pictures from my run today...
Hope you enjoyed the virtual run with me. And please forgive the not so great pic of myself and my son with his goofy face. It was the best shot I could get ☺

Goodbye Mr. Yucky...I hope

I had my first dr. appt on Tuesday and everything is looking great with the baby. I got to see the little monkey and "it" was sucking it's hand...too cute. The last few days have been better since I'm feeling more energetic and less "yuck". I really didn't realize how off I was feeling until I started feeling better. The doc was really supportive of me running and said to keep it up as long as I want. He did tell me not to take up horse jumping or downhill skiing though...totally burst my bubble since I had dreams of becoming the foremost horseback downhill ski jumping momma out there (a girl can dream right?) LOL.
Anyway...
While I haven't been weighing everyday, I am weighing every few days. I'm finding it helpful. Now I am going to concentrate on cutting out the refined carbs again since that seems to be all I'm eating lately and I need more protein! Meat is still not very appetizing so I'm working on ways to get more lean protein. And I'm going back to the eating when hungry, not just eating if something sounds good. Someone thought it was a great idea to buy the massive tub of cream cheese when we were at Costco...who me? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Today I am committed to getting in a run. The weather is nice and I'm feeling it. Do you feel the spirit?? Get out there and do something too! Now, I'm going to make some eggs...protein ya know. Have a great day!!!

*P.S.- My run was AWESOME! Pics to be posted soon...

Hello old friend...

I think I'm sounding like a broken record to those of you who are still reading. Unfortunately it's just the place that I'm at right now. This week has been bad for me exercise-wise. I could come up with excuses...rain, not feeling up for it (blah,blah,blah). I haven't been eating that great either. Not horrendously, but not really good either. The 10 lbs I put on at the beginning of the month is here to stay and I am not looking forward to the weight update on May 1st. Anyhow, I'm not feeling that great right now so I'm taking a break from the housework to sit at the computer. This morning I decided it's time to make friends with the scale again. Weighing every morning will be a visual reminder of where I am and that I can't let my weight get out of control during pregnancy. I'm thinking of the scale as a tool. While it's not fun to watch the number creep back up, it reminds me that every tick that goes up, must come back off after baby is born. And losing weight isn't easy! Why do I want to give myself more to have to work on?
Hope everyone has a great weekend...off to do more housework (awesome, huh?)

I'm a runner...that's my thing!

Last week was another tough week. Having my 5 yr old underfoot all week long during Spring Break threw me out of whack. The kids were at each other constantly it seemed and some unwelcome behaviors reared their ugly heads. Thankfully by the end of the week I got things back in sync and came to the realization that I NEED to run. So I started thinking. How do I make this work? By the time evening hits and I get the kids to bed, I'm exhausted (this used to be my "normal" workout time), also that's my time to spend with the hubs.
The solution is really pretty simple...I learn to run with the stroller. It may not be the ideal, but that's what's working for me right now. I ran 4.5 miles yesterday and felt AWESOME! I ran 3 miles today and felt the same. I went from training for and running a half marathon, to basically nothing. No wonder my moods have been all over the place! Add in some pregnancy hormones and some crappy food and you have a recipe for a 10 lb weight gain. Running makes me feel good, so running is what I'm going to do.
On the pregnancy front I feel good this week. I'm having some fairly strong food aversions...mostly cooked veggies. They make me VERY nauseous. Fresh veggies are fine though, as is fruit. The normal tiredness that comes with pregnancy in the beginning and end is continuing it's visit. I'm also experiencing heart palpitations from time to time randomly (which I've heard can be a sign of multiples...guess I'll find out next week if that's true). The jeans are starting to fit snugly and are getting a touch uncomfortable to sit in LOL. My stomach has also been replaced with a bottomless pit...and the struggle has become how to fill it with healthy stuff and not junk, since the junk sounds so good. Getting back into my running routine seems to be helping me make the better food choices though...I tell you, it makes me feel normal (as normal as I can be, that is).
Anyway, here's to a good week!

The Plan...

So I think I have a game plan....finally. The whole exercising and being fit during pregnancy is uncharted territory for me since I gained 70 lbs the first time and 50 lbs the second. I've been struggling to find my happy place, figure out an exercise plan, and generally figure out how I am going to cope with 3 kids. Momma's going a bit nuts. JUST A LITTLE.
So, here's what I've decided is going to be the general plan for the exercise. Walking 30-35 miles a week [5 mi/day, 6 days a week] and 100 pushups and squats [5 sets of 20] 3x/week. While I really want to run still, it REAALLY bothers my husband. While I understand his concern, it's a little frustrating to have the same conversation over and over. So, I'll walk. And walk. And walk.
Anyway, just wanted to give an update. Here's to a good week.

Up & down...'round & 'round

I know I've been missing from the blogosphere for a bit...sorry guys. My hormones (I guess) decided to take me for a ride. The roller coaster I've been on pretty much sucks. Blech. I'm still feeling "off" but I am really trying to pull it back together. Wallowing in this funk is not healthy and that is what I'm striving for most of all. So onward and upward.
Oh and just to share...I am terrified of gaining weight while pregnant right now. What's that doing to my mood? Not helping, that's for sure. It's definitely one of the cases where you're afraid of something so you're making it happen. I have been doing a very good impression of my old lifestyle...you know, the one that helped me get up to my highest weight. It's got to stop. I enjoy living and eating healthy. I don't enjoy living and eating crappy. Time to turn things around and get back on the healthy track. I've got a healthy lunch and dinner planned. The ice cream I ate for breakfast cannot be undone so we move on. I am definitely going running this evening and then tomorrow I do the same....
I'm going to start again with 21 days of healthy living (I made it 18 days before things started falling apart). I also think I am going to try and blog every day about it too.
Oh, and stay tuned later for the "belly" picture and weight update that I promised for the first of the month.

Half Marathon...

I know you are all DYING to know how my race went yesterday...at least those of you who aren't friends with me on FB, you guys already know how it went ☺ Anyway, the half marathon was awesome. I felt great! I finished strong, blowing past a few people in the last mile and one guy right at the finish line. I couldn't help it, he started slowing down instead of kicking it in, what's a girl to do?
My official time was 1:52:59. My last half marathon- 2:24! That's a 32 minute improvement. I was 142nd overall out of 1500 and 32nd overall in the women. I also placed third in my age group, 40 seconds behind the 2nd place finisher. While a part of me wishes I had pushed harder, I am also aware that I am pregnant. A few things slowed me down along the way and I figure there's a reason. I ran with a side stitch for almost 3 miles and got a blister about halfway through (and these shoes are not new...over a 100 miles on them). I had so much fun. The hubby and some other family members were out cheering me on and that was soo great! Can't wait till next year...I'm totally doing this one again! And here I am, finishing strong....

Happy News...

I can't wait to tell all of you the exciting news... Baby #3 is on it's way! While we weren't quite trying, we weren't doing much to prevent it either ☺ I am thrilled though, after taking a few days to adjust to the idea. What a wonderful blessing to say the least.
Obviously now the focus of my blog is going to shift slightly to maintaining my healthy lifestyle during this time. I hope all of you will continue to follow along. I'm am sooo happy that I've made the lifestyle changes that I have because I only think it will benefit me through these next months.
For those of you wondering, I plan on exercising and running or walking all along the way. My half marathon will probably be the last race though since it makes hubby a bit uncomfortable....but we shall see. As long as I'm still feeling great, I will keep running. Both previous pregnancies I gained wayyyy too much so I am excited for a healthy and fit one this time around...should make getting back into the size 6 jeans alot easier.
I've also decided that I will be posting a picture and weight on the first of every month...so stay tuned and watch the bump grow.

To grandmothers house we go...

Or, I should say, we went. My kids and I took a spur-of-the-moment trip to visit my parents. While the trip wasn't quite as restful as I wanted, I did get to see my momma and dad and my grandparents as well (whom I haven't seen in about a year). My children got to spend time with their grandparents and great-grandparents so it was worth it! I was able to get in a quick run but the elevation change (and the very steep hills) really threw me...going from 50 ft elevation where I live to 3000 ft at my parents is a huge difference! I am very thankful that my parents are totally into living a healthier lifestyle though so the food was right on point. Today I have to make up the 8 mi run I missed yesterday, but otherwise I'm right on track exercise-wise too. And now my weight is back down to 145...yay. Hope everyone had a great weekend...

21 day Challenge

I decided to push myself a little harder. I've been kinda cruising lately and I feel like I need to kick things up. So, I've decided that I'm going to ramp up the workouts and really concentrate on eating healthy for the next 3 weeks. I'm not giving myself a prize if I do this, I'm not adding any incentive. Generally when I do that I sabotage myself because I don't feel worthy of the prize at the end. So instead this is a "I dare you to do it" type thing for me. I tend to do better when I feel like I have to prove myself. Here's me, proving that I can eat well and exercise vigorously for the next 20 days (yesterday was day 1). Go me!
Side note- I'm sore from my workouts yesterday...and happy about it. It's been a while since I've been this sore and that means I made progress and shredded up some muscles, YAY!

Smacked back to reality...

I definitely got the smack in the face I needed when I stepped on the scale yesterday. While I know that a few of the pounds I've collected are water weight from the TACO BELL I ate Friday night {gross, I know}, I also know what else I've consumed the past few days. It wasn't pretty. Add to that, I've been a slug. So much so that it's embarrassing. I finally got my act together though, I think. Went grocery shopping, straightened up the house, took the kids for a walk & spent some quality time with my husband.
I hate that I let things snowball out of control for a few days and as a result have a few extra pounds to work off AGAIN!! To be perfectly honest, I'm annoyed with myself and disappointed that I couldn't hold it together.
I did great till about 1:30 this morning. The youngest has been having some ups and downs with sleeping. We'll have a couple good days and then 1 or 2 bad nights. Last night was a bad night and I ended up snacking on stuff in the middle of the night {remember I went grocery shopping lol}.
Anyway, I got 3 hours of sleep last night. I'm waiting for the coffee to brew then I'm going to eat something in preparation for my 9 mile run this morning. Once I get that done I know I'll feel better...

Thinking of Tri-ing

I've been doing a lot of pondering lately about what to do after this next half marathon. I don't really have a desire to train for a marathon right now. I enjoy running but I feel like marathon training would take away from precious family time. Right now my long runs on Sunday mornings average about 1.5 hours and that's all the time I want to invest. Maybe as my children get a little older that may change, but right now, it is what it is. What I am thinking is to mix it up a little and train for a Sprint Triathalon (.5 mi swim, 12(ish) mi bike, 6(ish) mi run). I like a new challenge and I think this would give me some more variety in my workouts as well. Now I just need to work on some of the logistics...a swimming pool to train in and a bike.

So what do you think? Sound fun or crazy???

Free Stuff...YAY!

Tricia over at "Endurance Isn't Only Physical" is hosting several giveaways right now. One is for running skirts and the other for some very cool socks. To check it out, click here. I love her blog and she has been super generous with giveaways lately ☺ Just wanted to share with everyone and give you a chance to win too!

Almond Blossom Run

I truly enjoyed my 8K(5mi) fun run Sat. morning. Even though I wasn't able to get the proper rest the night before, I still performed decently. My finish time was 39:08 (7:42 mi). After some thought today, I think I need to start racing with my ipod. I train with it most of the time and it seems like I need that distraction and music to help me keep my pace up. Anyway, I finished 64th overall out of 336 runners and third in my age group. I looked up my prior time from this race 3 years ago and it was 44:24, so I shaved a good 5 minutes off my time. I remember being thrilled that I broke a 9 min mile on that race. Now I want to try and break a 7 min mile average on a 5K. Wouldn't that be cool? Got a little work to get there, but I think I can do it if I keep going hard.
Did my 12 mile run this morning and am feeling great now...17 miles in two days. I am on fire! Now, I need to go eat something or I will consume everything in sight later in the day. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

New Motivation

Even though I said I wasn't going to go shopping till I hit goal, I did (kind of). I have 2 pairs of pants that I've been rotating through...a pair of jeans and a pair of jean capris. I have two other pairs of pants...one lime green and one light aqua. And that's it. All of them have enough room in them that I can pull them off without unbuttoning them. While that's not a bad thing, I REALLY needed some pants (that aren't workout wear)!!
Anyway, we ended up hitting a place called Plato's Closet. They are geared towards a younger crowd and the clothes are more current and stylish as opposed to Good Will that's just a mess of everything (not that I don't love Good Will, but you never know what you may find).
I ended up getting 2 pairs of jeans...YAY! At first I was bummed because both are size 8, then I went and looked at the fit description at GAP, and guess what....they're slim fit through the hip and thigh. That explains it. Not that it really matters, since they look good on me, but there was a little bit of a "I'm still NEED to lose" moment when trying them on. What I need to do is quit worrying about what the number says but it's a hard habit to break. And here's the thing, I would still like to lose a few more lbs, but that's not really the focus anymore. Living and eating well, exercising, those are the things I want to focus on. If I lose a few more pounds, great, if I don't, I'm okay with that too. When I first started this journey I set my goal at 145. That's where I am now. I readjusted the goal to 136 some time ago almost as a "let's see if I can get there" dare to myself. And maybe I can get there. The scale is moving down again this week after the 6 lb jump back up the scale from my out of control eating. We'll have to see what happens.
Now I'm finding it's actually really odd to have a pair of jeans that fit. Now the motivation is to make sure they keep fitting or getting looser. I don't have much wiggle room. If I start on the way back up the scale again I can't wear 'em long...that's pretty good motivation I think!

Holy Smokes, that was GOOD!

My breakfast this morning was so delicious I had to share. I made baked apples...can you say YUMMY!! This post is especially for my sister. As I was chomping down I couldn't help but think of her.
If you like Apple Crisp, you should try this...
This quest for a healthy lifestyle is now becoming a fun adventure instead of the task of "being on a diet". It's amazing what a change in perspective can do! I am now thinking in a different way and it's very freeing. For instance, last night grilled cheese sandwiches were on the menu as per my daughters request. I was going to have a half sandwich but knew I wouldn't be satisfied. So, I had the soup (chicken noodle), a huge salad and a baked sweet potato. Perfect!
I have no idea what inspired me to do the apple thing this morning, but none of my normal go-to breakfasts options sounded good. The apple totally hit the spot on this overcast dreary day. It's definitely a good option for dessert as well.
If you are interested in calories, here's the breakdown-
Just the apple- 188 cal, 7.5 fat, 32 carbs, 1 protein, 4 fiber
Totals w/ 1/2c 2% cottage cheese- 290 cal, 10 fat, 36 carbs, 17 protein, 4 fiber
That's a calorie breakdown percentage-wise 21% protein, 33% fat, 46% carbs (recommended is 20%,30%,50%).
If you count WW points- apple 4 pts, w/cc 6 pts.

Want to try it yourself? Here's what you do-
Preheat oven to 350*
Using a melon baller, scoop out the core of your apple, don't go all the way through.
Mix 1/4 Tbsp butter, 1 Tbsp brown sugar, a pinch or so of raw oats (oatmeal), 1 Tbsp chopped walnuts, a dash of cinnamon & nutmeg
Add mixture to the hollow in your apple.
Place apple in a baking dish with 1/4-1/2" of water in the bottom
Bake till tender about 20-30 minutes

Enjoy, I sure did!!

Get your own...

It dawned on me today, while I was making a smoothie, that I should share what I use to make mine. If I had to lug out the blender every time I wanted a smoothie, I probably wouldn't make 'em very often. My blender sucks! My nifty little $10 hand held blender, on the other hand, works great.
I toss all my stuff into my big (2 c) Pyrex measuring cup and blend away. It takes all of 30 seconds to clean up when I'm done too. I totally recommend getting one if you don't have one already.

My favorite smoothie recipe right now:
1 C. frozen fruit (I found a huge bag of mixed frozen fruit {cheap}- it has strawberry, pineapple, peach & red grapes)
1 C. Almond Milk
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1/2 banana

Many times I use frozen blueberries instead of the mixed fruit...either way, it's super good!! Anyone have a smoothie recipe to share? I love trying new ones.

Figured some things out...

Last week I was completely and utterly out of control when it came to my eating. Thankfully it's not all bad and now I know some more about myself, more triggers that help push me down into the "f*-it" mindset. Stress (mine or hubby's), lack of sleep, and pain all became contributing factors to overeating episodes. Standing back and analyzing I just have to shake my head and go "DUH, of course!" but when I'm in the middle of it I don't really want to think about why I'm shoveling the crap in. I'm going to have to work on that.
Today has been great though. I ran 11 miles this morning and burned a whopping 1147 calories. I figured out last week that after a long run it's essential to refuel properly or else I binge later in the day. I'm also figuring out by listening to my body that I have to eat small meals rather frequently. I get full quickly but then 2 hours later I'm hungry again. Small healthy meals and snacks when I'm hungry seems to be key for me.
Something I decided to try for this week is making a list of some of my favorite healthy choices for breakfast, lunch & snack. The list is going up on my fridge next to the dinner planner as a reminder to pick one of those things if I'm hungry. That way I'm not opening the cupboard and noshing on whatever is in sight.
Now, I'm hungry, so I'm going to eat a little snacky and then do some yoga to stretch me out more after my long run this morn. Doesn't that look like fun?It seems I have all kinds of exercise "videos" {including yoga and pilates} for free on our VOD (Video on Demand)....I just found that out yesterday. Now I have a whole slew of new stuff to choose from. No more excuses. I suggest you check it out if you have VOD!
Here's to a great week...now that I've got my head right again.

Just rollin' with it...

This week has been interesting to say the least. After my race last Saturday I started getting an earache. I treated the ear with hydrogen peroxide and it cleared up, but I've been dealing with the sinus drainage too since then. Then Monday while doing yard work I pulled the {very heavy, very large} garbage can over on myself and got pinned underneath...hubby and the neighbor had to rescue me. I got some lovely bruises and scrapes from that, and a serious case of embarrassment. And then the dishwasher broke. And then I had to spend a few hours in Urgent Care tonight with my 17 month old since he got his hand smashed in a door by my 5 year old. YIKES! Thankfully my little monkey is tough. His hand is viciously bruised and swollen but nothing is broken amazingly.
I actually managed to get out for my 5 mile run this evening despite the crazy hectic day/week. At first I wasn't going to go but I figured I would feel better in the end if I just went. So, I put my phone in a plastic baggie and stuffed it in my sports bra {seriously, I did} and grabbed my pepper spray and headed out the door at 9:45 p.m. I was right too, I do feel better. I had a good run and I'm no longer craving the ice cream I was earlier. Now, I'm tired and off to bed.... Is this week over yet?

Mystery SOLVED!

I've been wondering why my 5 mile runs seem to take me so "long". I was frustrated by the times I was getting and thought maybe it was because it's a newer route and once I'd run it a few {more} times I'd get faster. But it wasn't happening. Well the thought crossed my mind that maybe I calculated wrong or something. Weirder things have happened. So I was playing with the "map my route" tool on dailymile and decided to input my 4, 5 & 6 mi routes. The 4 & 6 were right on. The 5 mile route I've been running turns out to be 5.37 miles instead. Whoops! But, it makes me feel a little better that I'm not nuts {highly debatable, I know}. Now I get to plan out a new 5 miler before Thursday...
And now, an update on the "intuitive eating" front. It's definitely a harder adjustment than I thought it would be. Learning to trust myself and my body's hunger cues is difficult when you are used to eating on a "diet". I'm doing okay though. I went grocery shopping yesterday and stocked the house with good food. I am still keeping off the scale for the most part. I have stepped on twice but that's MUCH better than the 2-3x a day I was doing. All in all, things are moving in the right direction...

a PR and a medal...

Today was my first 5K since Thanksgiving. While I didn't achieve the time I had originally hoped for, I am still very proud of myself. I placed 1st in my age group...woo-hoo! And, I set a new personal record for myself by finishing in 23:39. I finished 33rd overall out of 145 total runners and I was the 5th female across the finish line. I gave it everything I had and that's what matters! Now I'm off to bed so I can be well rested for my 10 mile run tomorrow...oy!

*And just a side note...I went shopping and fit into size 6 jeans! Now I just have to find the "perfect pair"*

Ditching the DIET

I'm tired of dieting. I'm sooo done with dieting. What I am NOT tired of is eating healthy and exercising. I was hit with this realization today that the old habits and old ways of eating need to be put in the past. When I eat healthy I feel great! When I eat crap I feel like crap. I need to concentrate my energies on making good choices and eating well because I want to, not because I'm on a diet. I'm going to eat when I'm hungry. Stop when I'm full. Deal with emotions instead of stuffing them with food. My body wants me to be at a healthy weight so I need to trust that if I give it the proper fuel and nutrition I will get to a weight where I am most healthy.
Leslie over at Get off Your Butt and Get Fit had a post that really struck a cord for me. Her sister-in-law, who used to work at an eating disorder clinic, wrote a great guest post and you can read it here. My blogging buddy Lucy over at Eat When Hungry also got my gears clicking and helped my thinking move in this direction.
So, here's to a healthy lifestyle! Eating well and exercising because it feels good.... and that's what's important.

Forget the chocolate...I'm going running!

I'm back in control which is a much better feeling than the emotional place I was hanging out in for a few days. My 8 mile run on Sunday morning was stellar and as I expected, it cleared out the cobwebs and gave me a lovely start to the day. I finished the run in 1:03:53 (7:59 mi) which BLOWS my mind since last July I ran a 10K (6 miles) in 1:03:48... This is such concrete evidence of how far I've come over the last 10.5 months. And the best part about running the 8 miles, I felt awesome after I finished. I could've kept going. I have 10 miles this coming Sunday and it doesn't worry me now. I've got my mojo back :) Boo-yeah!

New Yummies to try...

Time to share a favorite "food" of mine. I had a whole discussion with my sister-in-law yesterday so I figured y'all would love if I shared too. I tried Almond Milk as an alternative to milk and I absolutely LOVE it. It took a few tastes to get adjusted, but now it's pretty much my go-to "milk". It's perfect plain, in post-workout smoothies, cereal, or in my coffee every morning. I buy the unsweetened vanilla and it's 40 cal for 8oz {it's the one to the far right with the 40 on it :D}. All my local grocery stores carry it. My kids like it too, which is a plus. Now, hopefully they'll eat the brussel sprouts I bought today. I'll let you know how it goes....
Anybody else tried or use alternatives to reg milk? How 'bout brussel sprouts? {Honestly I JUST tried brussel sprouts yesterday...but I loved 'em so I went and got some today to use this week. Thanks Missy-poo for making them soooo yummy!}

You hurt my feelings...where's the chocolate?

*This post contains some foul language...cause that's the kind of mood I'm in*

Today was HORRIBLE! Pretty much a cluster-fuck. Out of control in almost every single way possible. I need to find a way to cope with emotions instead of turning my day into this downward spiral. Usually I get an inkling of a "bad day" coming but today I just got emotional and I couldn't pull myself together. So I ate, and ate, and ate. I know my hormones are going wacky right now as that TOM draws closer, but I am not using that as a crutch. It is a part of the equation, for sure, but not something that is going away, so I have to figure out how to handle it.
Anyway, I've been in tears multiple times today and I really just need a fucking hug...something my husband doesn't quite understand. He just wants to "fix" it. And, I think he thinks sometimes that I have no right being sad or emotional...he's the one that goes out and works, I'm just the stay at home mommy.
Throw in some inconsideration from other people as well and you get to feeling unliked and just not "cool" enough.... which then brings back lots of old hurts from times past. Like I said... cluster-fuck. What a shitty day!
But, tomorrow morning I have an 8 mile run scheduled which I hope will help my emotional state. My alarm is set, my clothes are set out and I am going whether it's pouring rain or not.
And now, if you've finished reading this, thanks. The mood and tone of this post is not my norm, but I needed the catharsis that writing gives me. Again, thanks. Tomorrow will be better. Time to move forward...

Well, I tried....

Since my run on Thursday night ended poorly {mainly because my youngest threw a 30 minute fit for daddy as soon as he realized I was gone and daddy was VERY unhappy by the time I got home} I decided to take the monkey bear with me on my run yesterday. And let me tell you, IT SUCKED!!! I hated pretty much every minute of it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE power walking with the stroller and can and will walk miles around town, but running with the stroller is entirely different. I may do it from time to time if I'm desperate, but it isn't something I am going to make a habit...

Join me?

I had a couple rough(ish) days with my eating but thankfully I was able to rein it back in and now it's just a hazy memory. Today has been a good day...not awesome, but solid. A few times the thought crossed my mind to overdo it, but I restrained myself. It was Wednesday, which meant a hectic day for me. I managed to eat at the lower end of my calorie range but the percentage of fat/carb/protein today was way out of whack. Tomorrow I know I'll do better.
I also did some thinking today about taking a break from the scale and challenging myself to something new. My thought was to go 2 weeks completely "on plan" {eating clean, calorie cycling, exercising} and no scale.
I've tried to break the habit of getting on everyday, but I still do it. So I think I am going to weigh once more tomorrow morning then it's c'est la vie to the scale till the 18th.... I really hope that without the number in my face constantly I'll be able to hit goal without over thinking it.
Anybody else want to join me in this? It's just 2 weeks...

Skinny Mini Challenge...final day

It's the last day of January and the skinny mini challenge is drawing to a close. I hope everyone had a great month. I need to have all the participants' final weight emailed to me by Feb 2nd so we can crown a winner...

No drinky for you!

So, this is interesting...my number of posts has now exceeded my weight (141 lbs this morning and I'm writing my 143rd post). Maybe this is only interesting to me. It is completely random :P
Anywhooo, today is a busy day. I have to admit I'm a little nervous how it's going to go eating-wise, but I'm pretty confident in myself and my ability to make the right choices. Lunch out with grandma shouldn't be too difficult. I'm getting good at making the healthy choices. This evening is an unknown which is what makes me nervous. A friend of hubby's is hosting a get together.... first a Cookie Lee jewelry party, followed by a poker game. It should be alot of fun. Since it's about an hour and a half away I don't have the option of eating before I go. Guess I'm just going to have to roll with it. It helps being ultra focused on getting down the last, gasp, 5 lbs. And I am thankful that alcohol is taken out of the equation for me....hubby's been up since 3 am this morning so I will be driving home. No drinking during the poker game for me {silver lining- maybe I'll play better}. And I figure as long as I don't touch the desserts, I should be fine.
Now comes the difficult part...figuring out what to wear.

No candied walnuts please...

Gotta share my little NSV (non-scale victory) from this evening. And let me say, I'm glad I had that drop on the scale this morning, cause otherwise I probably would've had a very BAD day. Having that drop helped keep me focused tonight.
Anyway, Wednesdays are more hectic for our family than every other day of the week. Well, hubby said he would figure out dinner {since he couldn't decide} while I was working today in piglet's kindergarten class. Fine, one less thing for me to think about. Unfortunately, he didn't. So, after much discussion we ended up going out...to a restaurant we've never tried. An Italian place that just, Oooo, smelled heavenly. I did have a bite of the fresh bread, a bite {maybe two} of piglet's mac'n'cheese, but I ordered a grilled chicken salad, minus the candied walnuts, with the rasp. vinaigrette on the side. Even though today was supposed to be a higher calorie day, I knew if I ordered anything else, I would probably be in trouble. So, I was good. I had a taste of the tiramisu that hubby brought home for dessert, but satisfied myself with a SF pudding and later, a cup of tea. And I am proud of myself!
Thank you all for the kind comments about my latest drop, that's really helping motivate me forward. Now, off to lift weights while I watch some TV :)

Concentrate...

Finally, the scale is showing some progress again! I've been bouncing up and down 5-7 lbs for a while and it felt like the scale wasn't ever going to get below 145...EVER. But guess what, I just kept at it. I figured if I was "perfect" for 2 weeks and the scale hadn't moved below 145ish, fine. That was it, 145 was the end. I was gonna call it good. But then I concentrated on eating clean, varying my calories (the calorie cycling I mentioned a few posts ago), and exercising as per my plan. And it paid off.
I am 1-frickin' 42! I am 6 away from goal, and 3 from being 130-something. I ran 3 miles yesterday in 22:32 (that's a 7:30 mi). I'm as happy as a clam this morning. Can't you just feel the excitement....Yee-haw! (Okay, no more coffee for me this morning!)
Anyway, it seems to me that my body was used to me getting to the 145 point and then losing it and noshing away and gaining back. It had to make sure I was serious about this current mode so it hung out at the one number till finally there was no choice but to move. It's like my body said "Oh, okay, you're serious this time." So, for those of you in the same boat, {and I know you're out there reading this}, show your body you are serious! Concentrate on what you know needs to be done and keep moving forward...

100....in a ROW?

Today I decided to move forward into a new challenge. What is it you ask? It's the 100 push up challenge. If you haven't heard of it, here's the scoop...it's a 6 week training that by the time you finish, will allow you to perform 100 push ups consecutively. I'm stoked. That would be awesome! It's fairly simple and straight forward too, totally easy to follow. If you want to learn more about it and join in the fun, click HERE. I know I can spare 30 minutes a week in pursuit of this task....especially since I'm really on fire to get my arms toned up. I am really happy with the added strength I achieved recently with my dumbell, but I think this is just going to rip me up...in a good way :) My starting point, for those of you interested, is 20 push ups (not too shabby, right?)
So...anybody else want to do this? Anybody in the middle of it now? Feedback, PLEASE!!

*Quick update* I just finished day one and managed 48 push ups total over 5 sets. This took me all of 7 minutes to finish and my 5 year old got a kick out of counting for me! Fun stuff!

Movin' and Groovin' Again....

I was on a roll this week! And let me say, WOW, it feels great. I missed 1 pilates workout, but other than that I've done everything else I planned. I've also had 5 days of solid, on track eating. Monday is weigh-in day and I am actually EXCITED. The calorie cycling I mentioned in my last post seems to be doing the trick. I would definitely recommend trying it. It's really not that difficult if you're already tracking calories. Saturdays I've decided will be "high calorie" days {1500 or so} since I have my long runs on Sunday mornings. I want to make sure my body is properly fueled for my runs. Something I tried this week is planning out my meals for the next day. This is really helping me stay on track and focused. I'm not as scattered and I'm not eating stuff just cause it's there. I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. My new favorite breakfast is cottage cheese{2%} and fruit...yummy! Pineapple is my favorite pairing and so delish in the morning and it definitely combats my sweet tooth. I also did blueberries and cc...super good too.
All right, that's it. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Gotta get my pilates done before my youngest wakes from his nap or I'll have a monkey crawling all over me while I attempt to exercise :) Here's to new and improved bodies!
(And sorry this post isn't exactly the most cohesive. Just lots of general jibber-jabber for those who are interested. Oh well, can't have awesome posts all the time!)

Zig, no, Zag.....

Have you heard of calorie cycling? The zig-zag diet? The basic idea is that every few days you boost or drop your calories so that your body doesn't get used to a reduced calorie intake and slow down your metabolism to compensate for the reduction. I have actually been doing this for a while, just not on purpose. So now, I am going to try the technique more purposefully. There is a great little overview and calculator to help you figure out your own caloric needs here.
It makes a lot of sense to me. The last two days have been very low cal days so today I bump it up(around 1450) and tomorrow I drop it down(1150-1250). I'm very curious to see how my body responds. I really think this may be the key to help me get to goal....
But what do you think? Gimmicky? Silly? Smart? I think it's worth a try. I'm counting calories anyway. We'll see. I'll keep you posted one way or another.

I CAN!!

Oh yeah, I'M BAAACK! It's such a good feeling to be back in control. I've been trying a few things to push me in the right direction. Setting the goals for the half marathon and the shopping spree helped. I know I generally do better with a concrete date/goal in mind.
Something else I've been trying is putting up little messages on the fridge. I've been using the kid's magnet letters, which makes it kinda fun (and very easily changed). What does it say right now?... Stop Freaking out, GOAL 136, DO IT. I have to get a little creative and make the messages short since there are letters that have disappeared {as they tend to do}. But I'm finding it's really helping me. I like coming up with new blurbs cause I can make it tough or I can make it nice, depending on what I need. The "stop freaking out" reminder has been very helpful the last couple days.
Also, seeing my "right now" picture gave me a huge boost to just get it done and finish this journey strong. I've come a long way and I need to prove to myself I CAN, and will finish it...

Yup, I'm MENTAL...

A big Thank You to everyone who commented on the "Exposed" post. In the spirit of full disclosure I have to tell y'all that I almost deleted the sucker about a half dozen times. But screw it, that would've defeated the whole purpose! I was so freaked out by the fact that people I know (and everyone else for that matter) was going to see my body. But guess what, this is me. Right now. I'm never going to have the "perfect" body but I need to love what is mine. And now, if you know me personally, you know what I'd look like if I were to wear a bikini to the next pool party (uh, yeah right).
Anyway, Exposed was an interestingly difficult emotional growth process for me. I've had some really bad moments and some really bad foods the past few days. This evening when I went for my run I was feeling pretty off kilter, but I came back with a clear head.
That's one of the things I love about running (or walking). It gives me time to think. Time to mull. I knew that I needed that time today so I left the ipod at home. I've found that some days I want the music and some days I need the sound of my breathing and my feet pounding the pavement. I needed to think about how once again I'm approaching my goal weight and freaking out. What can I do to push past this fear of success. Why is it that I can't get to my goal? Why am I holding MYSELF back?
While I don't really have an answer, I am just going to keep pushing. I really want to be at goal by the time I run my half marathon. I've also decided that I am going to reward myself with a shopping spree when I hit goal....trust me, this is almost difficult(I'd rather save the money). But, my clothes selection is pretty pitiful at this point. So if I want the new clothes, I gotta do the work. And I need to stay off the scale! I'm back to weighing once or more a day...gack! Not good for the mental health. And let's face it, I'm at a mental roadblock. But I have confidence in myself and my ability to do this. I will fight and claw my way to goal. Somehow my brain will eventually get the message...
Oh, and stay tuned... I will be posting a "now" picture in the side bar soon {we'll see how good my 5 yr old does with the camera}.

Exposed...

Let me just start this by saying, I am VERY self conscious about my body. I've been dealing with body issues for as long as I can remember. So what better way to start dealing with them than posting a picture of myself "EXPOSED". And let me tell you, this is a huge step! If you want to find out more about the "Exposed Movement" you can read about it here. I also want to say a special thanks to Greta for inspiring me to put this out there.
When you get down to it, our bodies are amazing. They allow us to do so many things that we just take for granted. I have birthed and nursed 2 children, I have run a half marathon, I am physically capable of many things because I am a STRONG woman!


I'm curious, what do you think about the "exposed movement"?

Meet my new friend...

I got to thinking that I need to do some lifting to tone up the arms and shoulders. So, today I bought something like this....Mine is actually a 15 pounder, not a 45 lb, but you get the idea. I only got one, which my husband thinks is hilarious, but next time I'm at Wally World I'll pick up another. They aren't expensive, but I just didn't want to spend another $13 when I can make do with the one for now. I really want to tone up my arms so I made the decision to work at it. Shoulders, biceps & triceps hopefully have met their match. I've always had bigger arms (in my opinion), so now it's time to buff 'em up.
Anyway, I'm having a good week all around. Hope you are too! For those of you competing in the skinny mini challenge, don't forget to shoot me an email on the 15th and let me know how you're doing. Can't wait to hear the updates!

Sparkin' it up...

I burnt myself out on counting points. I felt like I couldn't eat much anymore so I've just been floating. Eating healthy (mostly) and kinda keeping track in my head what I'm eating. I wasn't feeling like it was very productive though in helping me get to my final goal weight. I needed more stucture again. So, I decided to change it up a little and try using SparkPeople. You can check it out here. I really like it. And the best thing, it's FREE! There are lots of helpful gadgets and they'll even provide you with meal plans if you want.
One thing I've come to realize on this journey is that you gotta shake things up sometimes. Tweak it till it starts working for you again. Just like anything else, you can become complacent. So if it seems like I'm getting lazy with something, I find a new angle. I read a new book. I try something else. And here's the thing, there's no perfect formula for everyone. Find what works for you and do it!

My Bad & My Good

I guess it's time to confess. Last night I slipped up. Me and pizza, we had an encounter... and it wasn't pretty! Analyzing my binge is helping me realize some triggers though. This is not about making excuses either. I chose to put the food in my mouth, no one forced me. As I was shoving food in my mouth I was already mad at myself, but it was almost compulsive. Thankfully, today I actually feel more in control. There have been a few little niggles to "EAT" excessively today, but I am not going to do that to myself. I felt so horrible last night and I don't want to feel that way again anytime soon. So here were some of the triggers....PMS (a big part), being off my normal routine (first the holidays and now hubby is home this week on vacation), waiting too long between meals till I was REALLY hungry, and finally, not stopping when I was full.
The funny thing is, I know the exact second when it turned from eating dinner to a pizza scarfing marathon. I made myself a nice big salad and ate it first before even touching the one piece of pizza on my plate. I got halfway through the piece and felt full. Instead of stopping though, I kept eating. It tasted really good and I hate to leave food on my plate when there are just a few bites left. And then there was something about that overly full feeling that just sent me over and I grabbed another piece, and another (you get the picture). I ate myself sick. Horrible, but true!
I even missed my run last night because I felt so gross. I probably would've thrown up if I'd attempted to run. So I ran tonight instead. I felt like throwing up today too, but for an entirely different reason, because I pushed so hard. And guess what, I set a personal record for myself... 3 miles in 22:42 (that's a 7:33 mile)! I don't know if it was the cold or the fact that I felt the need to pound it out on the pavement. I just kept saying {PUSH,PUSH} and {Gotta make up for the pizza} over and over in my head, and look what it got me, a record time.
Something I realized on my run, last nights' issues are going to make me stronger. It gives me insight to what I can do in the future to avoid going down the bad path. For now, I'm gonna bask in my post-run endorphins. Tomorrow I keep moving forward!

Let's go girls!

While I know the competition started on the 1st, I just thought I'd send out a quick update on the skinny mini challenge. There are 8 ladies competing. How awesome is that? I can't wait to see how everyone does. Here in the next few days I'm going to start working on the trophy and, I'm on the lookout for the perfect prize. Good luck girlies!

What about hashbrowns?

First off, I just want to say Thanks for the nice comments on my last post. It was good for me to see the comparison photos too because I don't always see the changes my body has been through when I look in the mirror. I've talked about it before, the mental disconnect between reality and what we see in our head. Even my husband kinda forgot what I used to look like 60 lbs ago. He walked in this morning and I had the pictures up on the screen. He stopped, did a double take and said.... "Whoa". It wasn't a bad thing though. It was more of a surprised reaction. He sees me every day so it's been a gradual shift as opposed to the stark contrast of the pictures. It was pretty funny to be honest. And, it was helpful later in the evening while we were cruisin' the grocery store for a few things.

• D- "Oooo, what about hash browns? Does that sound good? Are you gonna eat them if we buy them for dinner though?"
• Me- "We can get them if you want but I'm not going to have any."
• D- "Ugh, you make me so mad sometimes." (In a disgusted "why won't you eat all crap I want" tone of voice and shaking his head)
• Me- "Well dear, I can eat the hash browns and all the other junk in the cart and go back to looking just like I did in that picture. But, I really don't want too. That's not the way I eat anymore."

He got this look on his face and didn't say anymore on the subject. I kinda wonder what his reaction would be if I told him I decided to cut out both sugary treats and alcohol. I'm trying not to focus on it and make it a big deal. It's really not. I'm just taking each situation as it comes...saying no thanks to a Mudslide or half a candy bar and staying out of the ice cream is what I need to do right now to hit goal. I'm trying to teach myself control again. The holidays really wreaked havoc on my self control. To be perfectly honest though, I'd been letting the reins slip a bit the closer I got to goal. Fear of succeeding can make a person do interesting things. And, the mid-afternoon munchies are really killin' me the last few days. I'm not even really that hungry, I just want to eat. Today I started munching but pulled it together. Popping a piece of gum and drinking a cup of tea helped me ride it out. And, hubby did offer to help me make a veggie tray for easier and more healthy snacking options to combat the munchies. Wasn't that sweet?
Finally, I'm going to pull out the Star Wars quote again....Control, Control, you must learn Control! I think that's my motto for the week :) What about you?

Update from the weekend...

Anyone interested in my weekend? Well, it was great! It wasn't perfect (diet-wise), but things in life rarely are. I made decent food choices for the most part, which wasn't always easy. We left yesterday and headed out of town to see a show for a band that my husband loves. Anyway, the show was at a brewery. I'll admit, I had 3 pints. We were at a BREWERY! We did walk to the venue though, about a 1.5 round trip, and we rocked out pretty good too. I think the small things count.

A few other things I'm proud of.....I ate the good stuff and left the rest when my lunch came (normally I am a clean your plate freak, so this was a huge deal for me), I ate half of a wheat bagel with a bit of jelly instead of the whole white bagel slathered in cream cheese (or heaven forbid, one or two of the pastries), I also stuck to my plan and went for a 4 mile run when we got home, and I was able to buy myself a size Small band t-shirt. Wanna see? Wanna see? This is not the greatest pic of me...after a whirlwind trip and a run, but oh well! It was just awesome to have the shirt fit.
This was me 9 months ago...I NEVER would have been able to fit this shirt.
Sometimes you have to look back at where you came from. This is proof of the hard work I've done. And proof that I can get to my goal if I've come this far! And seriously, if I can do this, so can you!

Tested already!

SOOOO... about that no alcohol thing. Can I start that tomorrow? Hubby and I are going to a concert tonight. I truly didn't think I would get to go. We've been struggling, trying to find a sitter for the kids and it just wasn't happening. (The concert is 4 hours from home so it's an overnight thing). Anyway, we finally arrived at like plan G after exhausting all other options and thought, why not see if my grandma (the kids' great grandma) would come along. She agreed. So, she's going to stay at the hotel with the kids while hubby and I go out....how awesome is she!!
Now I have the decision to make...to drink or not to drink. Guess we'll see how I feel tonight. If I feel like it I will, if not then I won't. It just seems funny that as soon as I decide to cut the booze I have this come up. That's life though. But, regardless of whether I drink tonight, I'm gonna go out and have fun with my hubby! That's the thing I need to concentrate on.
Now, I gotta go and get everything packed....eeek, only a few hours till we hit the road! Have a great weekend everyone!

Healthy livin' in 2010

It seems like everyone is posting about their resolutions for 2010. I generally don't do the whole "New Years Resolution" list. But, I did some thinking on my run this morning (I know, scary huh?). Thinking about what I've been letting slide. Thinking about my goal weight. Just thinking about what I need to do to get comfortable in my own skin. So what did I figure out you ask? Here are a few of the high points.
First off, exercise makes me feel good so I need to make the time to do it. Having a race to train for really makes a difference so I need to make sure I am doing one every few months. Secondly, sugar is my enemy. I'm talking candy, cake, ice cream.....sweets (period). So I need to stay away because if I eat a little it opens a door that I have a hard time locking back down. And finally, I need to ditch the alcohol for a while. I don't drink alot, but lately I've been slipping back into the habit of a beer or two or a glass of wine in the evening. While this is not a big deal, I know that while losing weight I do better if I banish the alcohol altogether.
So there we have it, I guess I did make some resolutions for the new year.....exercise, no sugar, & no alcohol (till goal). Healthy living in 2010 if you want to boil it down. I'm using the Skinny Mini as a jumping off point. I've set my goal where I want to be by the end of the month and I am going to push, push, push to get there. It's not to late to join the party either. If you want to participate in the challenge email me by Monday Jan 4th. Let's kick off the new year right!