*This post contains some foul language...cause that's the kind of mood I'm in*
Today was HORRIBLE! Pretty much a cluster-fuck. Out of control in almost every single way possible. I need to find a way to cope with emotions instead of turning my day into this downward spiral. Usually I get an inkling of a "bad day" coming but today I just got emotional and I couldn't pull myself together. So I ate, and ate, and ate. I know my hormones are going wacky right now as that TOM draws closer, but I am not using that as a crutch. It is a part of the equation, for sure, but not something that is going away, so I have to figure out how to handle it.
Anyway, I've been in tears multiple times today and I really just need a fucking hug...something my husband doesn't quite understand. He just wants to "fix" it. And, I think he thinks sometimes that I have no right being sad or emotional...he's the one that goes out and works, I'm just the stay at home mommy.
Throw in some inconsideration from other people as well and you get to feeling unliked and just not "cool" enough.... which then brings back lots of old hurts from times past. Like I said... cluster-fuck. What a shitty day!
But, tomorrow morning I have an 8 mile run scheduled which I hope will help my emotional state. My alarm is set, my clothes are set out and I am going whether it's pouring rain or not.
And now, if you've finished reading this, thanks. The mood and tone of this post is not my norm, but I needed the catharsis that writing gives me. Again, thanks. Tomorrow will be better. Time to move forward...