Pushing buttons...

I have come to realize this week that no one can push my buttons quite like my spouse. The beginning of this week was pretty stressful for me! For one reason or another hubby and I were clashing at what seemed like every turn. This type of stuff usually triggers a couple bad days of eating for me. I am the first to admit that I am a stress & emotional eater. But, here's the thing, eating is not going to solve anything. So, I made it through a few rough days and things are back to "normal"-thank goodness. I have been exercising consistently and I think that helped me deal with my stress a little better. And sometimes, you just gotta let it go...

Ohh, I'm sore!

I hate squats! They are great for you, but man do I get so sore after doing them! I guess that's a good thing though. I am proud of myself for actually working out yesterday. Today is also such a beautiful day I am thinking of going for a walk...I know I should. My muscles would also loosen up if I went. Okay, okay, I'm going. :P Ibuprofen here I come!

Battle of will...

Today is one of those days where I just feel like eating everything in sight. I am not hungry. I just feel like shoving bad stuff in my face- the leftover pizza in the fridge, the whole pan of brownies, something slathered in butter or peanut butter...
Wow, now that I'm writing this, I feel better! Now, to figure out what triggered this mood. Let me think. Probably boredom. It's not that I don't have anything to do, it's just I'm not really feeling like doing it. Time to grow up. Life full of things that we don't "feel" like doing. Next on the agenda, getting out of my p.j.'s and getting on with my day!

My dilemma...

I have been struggling all week to exercise. I feel guilty if there is a household chore that needs to be done and I'm wanting to exercise. I know that part of it is a stalling tactic. I can always find something else that needs to be done. Keeping a house is neverending. I need to make working out a priority and I'm not doing very well with that. Both kids are still going down for naps and I have a treadmill and pilates and yoga tapes. I am lacking that push right now to just do it. It's funny how many other things I can come up with that "need" to be done. In my defense, my house was pretty tore up. After working diligently on it this week I have it fairly ship-shape. That means no more excuses. I can spare 45 min. to an hour a couple times a week. I got a good routine started this week, now I just need to shove the workouts in there and I'm good to go! I need to remember that the world will not end if the house isn't sparkling all the time. I am tired of feeling so blech about myself and the only way to change it is to do something about it!

AHHH!

Sometimes, I just want to kick my husband so hard! =) This is what he grabbed at the grocery store today. Really? I just mentioned this morning that I wanted us to eat better. I don't know what the deal is! Before we even went shopping, he called the Thai place down the street and got fried bananas. We haven't had those in months, and all the sudden he get the hankerin' for 'em? I don't get it. Am I just unaware of the other times he does this or does it get worse when I'm trying to get healthier?
We did however get the pudding. As it's sugar free-fat free, it is a better choice for me. Lily loves it too. I'll just have to not put things in my mouth that shouldn't be there. Having an alternative works good for me. Something else I figured out, putting the bad stuff up high somewhere out of eyesight helps too. Out of sight, out of mind. Find a high cupboard or the top of the fridge. If I have to open a cupboard and stare at something yummy every time I get Lily a snack, I cave fairly quickly. Not gonna do it with these treats D wanted to buy. Not gonna do it...

Here we go...

I bit the bullet and got on the scale this morning. That was not a fun experience! Now, I need to concentrate on how I'm feeling as opposed to the number on the scale. I tend to obsess about the number. Not this time. I've made a decision NOT to get on the scale as often as I have in the past. I think twice a month is sufficient. Hopefully I can break my former bad habit of getting on several times a day...that is not healthy!
Because I am breastfeeding, I cannot cut calories without affecting my milk supply. For this reason, I am going to concentrate on exercise and toning what I have. The plan- pilates 3x a week, walk 2 mi. 3x a week. This should help improve my body even if I don't lose any weight.
This is not a sprint. I'm trying to change my body and my lifestyle so that when I do get to my goal, I can stay there.
Wish me luck!

My point is...

I decided to try something different. I'm going to blog about my weight issues. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm hoping that by writing things down and expressing myself in this way I can help myself through to where I want to be. I hope a few of my friends can follow along too. Give me insight if they have it and support when I need it. This is what "Skinny Jeans" is for me.
I am actually a little frightened to expose myself this way. Tomorrow, I plan on getting on the scale and figuring out where I'm starting from. Oh boy. Every journey starts with the first step though.