Not so brilliant...

Sunday morning I got up, ran 2 miles, did some chores and then decided I needed to go shopping. What did I need? A pair of jeans. Seriously, it's December and I'm running around in capris because I don't have any pants that fit. So off to the thrift store I went...cause I really don't want to pay $30+ for a pair of jeans that I'm not going to wear for very long (because I AM going to lose this extra weight). This was probably not the most brilliant plan I've ever had. Why you ask? It was a bit more of a "reality check" than I was prepared for. I ended up walking out with nothing, barely keeping it together. On the way home I was practically in tears a couple times. By the time I made it home I thought I had it together. Unfortunately, I didn't. I ended up standing in the kitchen just bawling. Part of it I'm sure was hormones and a little sleep deprivation (hey, 3 week old baby in the house). The other part was pure frustration, disgust and any other emotional upheaval you want to throw in there.
My poor husband. He's being so supportive. That's almost part of the problem. Hearing that he'll love me either way & that I didn't gain it overnight and won't lose it overnight...not really helpful when you're in angst. But I know he's trying. He's trying to help me and for that I'm grateful.
I've avoided blogging about the shopping trip for the past few days because I was wallowing... and eating. Like that's gonna do anything but make it worse. Time to pull it back together. Rome wasn't built in a day right? I need to accept the way my body looks right now and make the changes necessary to fix the things that are bothering me. The fact is, I've had 3 kids and gained large amounts of weight each time. But I lost it after the last two, I can do it again. I just need to give myself the time to do it though. And right now my priority is nursing by little pumpkin. I need to give myself the time to figure out the right formula so I don't lose my milk (I had a couple days of low supply due to not eating quite enough).
So I've made peace with the fact that my body looks the way it does right now and I'm going to go buy a pair of jeans that works for me. Hopefully I won't have to wear them for long! :)

December Goals...

As promised I took a new "before" picture. It's posted in the sidebar. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
On a more pleasant note, I managed to run 2 miles today....woo! Go me. It was slow, but I did it. I'm working on getting my endurance back first. I know the speed will come with time.
I decided to take on a challenge for the month of December...running 26.1 miles.
It was time for some concrete goals and this one seemed doable. The plan is to go back to running 4 days a week (Sun, Tu, Th, Fri) but I'm going to keep the miles light...1-2 mi at first. I'm hoping by the end of the month I can run a 3 miler. Pilates or Yoga I'll be doing 3 days a week along with pushups (M,W,F). That's it for the fitness aspect for now. My weight goal is 185 by 1/1/11. I'm trying not to get obsessive and ease back into the "weight loss" mode so I don't make myself crazy. My main focus is going to be making good food choices and eating when I'm hungry, not just because something sounds good.
Here's to great December! For all of us...

Did you miss me?

Hello again bloggy world! So yeah, it's been a while (insert sheepish smile here). To be perfectly honest, I hit a point in my pregnancy that I just gave up. I said "SCREW IT, I'll deal with it after this is done". So now the day of reckoning has come. Lia made her grand entrance via c-section 2 weeks ago on Nov 15th. She was 8 lbs 3 oz and 19.75" long (for any of you interested). And now, momma's ready to get down to business. I'll admit there were a few days of wallowing and regret over the amount of weight I let myself gain but it's over and done. Now I have to fix it...again. Thankfully I've done it before which gives me the confidence to do it again.
If you're curious, my final weight while pregnant...217 lbs. A little scary since I started out at 145 lbs. It's less than where I ended my first two pregnancies, but still, not good. This morning at two weeks post partum I weighed in at 195 lbs. So, that's where I'm at. I'll be posting new "before" pictures soon. Hopefully there are still a few of you out there who'll be reading and commenting.
I haven't really set any concrete goals yet. I'm working on that. I'm also nursing so I've got to be careful to get the right amount of calories...it's a fine line. I started exercising today but I'm starting out slow. Can't wait to get back to my former fitness level, it was a little humbling today. Carrying an extra 50 lbs really slows you down! Anyway, that's the update. Time to move forward...and watch the scale numbers drop!

Birds, Worms....you know

So here's the deal. I'm really not a morning person. But I started thinking, if I want to get any type of exercise done before the piglets wake up in the morning, I gotta get up EARLY. You know, the early bird...blah, blah, blah. My husband has to get up at 3:15 a.m. for work (yucky huh?) so he has learned to be a morning person. Now I'm trying. I "slept in" till 4:15 this morning but yesterday I was up and at 'em at 3:45. It actually works really well. By the time my kids wake up between 6 and 6:30, Momma is ready to go. The exercise is done and I am ready to tackle my chores for the day. I'm going to test it out and see how it goes, but so far so good. Next week is probably going to throw me off a bit since I'm going to visit my parents for a couple days but I'll deal with that when it comes. I'm making the effort to stay fit. I really don't want to have to start at square one again after the baby. I am going to be recovering from a C-section and that's a big enough hurdle. I've picked out the first half marathon I want to do post-partum (I know, I'm crazy) ☺ It's at the end of March so that should give me time to get trained since that will make my little girl about 5 months old. We'll see. (I gotta have a plan and a goal or I go crazy!!!)
Anyway, here's to getting the biggest worm ☺

Back to it again...

Once again I've been MIA for a while. I'm such a bad blogger sometimes. I've actually been trying to stay off the computer which means that the blogging suffers. I've also been busy. Family visiting and hey, it's summer! I missed my updated bump picture on the 1st too. I do have news to share though....the ultrasound was last week. It's a girl!! Looking at this picture, I feel like I've gotten as big as a house. I actually didn't gain any weight between the last 2 appointments, but then 4th of July hit. And things have been off eating wise for about 10 days. I have discovered, bread and I are a really bad combo. The sweets and fattening food cravings are back. *Scream and pull out hair*
I ate Sour cream and Cheddar Ruffles for breakfast this morning...why?? Because they were there! But then, I went to the local Farmer's Market....and look what I gotLook at all that yumminess! All for like $20. I didn't even stick all the fruit in the picture either. (P.S. the KettleCorn is not for me, but I HAVE to get it for the kids first thing. They are popcorn addicts). I figure a little isn't going to hurt them every once in a while.
Now, for me to get back on track with the eating. No more ice cream & bread 'n butter. Back to the whole foods, the yummy stuff that makes me feel good when I eat it...

General update...

No, this is not my baby...I snagged the photo from the pregnancy web site I visit. I just love the shot! (This baby is 18 weeks as is my lil bean). Anyway, it's been a few days since I've checked in and I thought I would write a quick post. I just got back from a 2 mi run. I was tired tonight but forced myself out the door. The plan was to run 3 but at mile 1 I made the executive decision to turn and head for home. Round ligament pain had flared up (which is like a bad side stitch) and it hung on till I was almost home. Coupled with that, I wasn't sure my bladder would make it the whole way. The baby is sitting low and most of the run I felt like I might pee my pants...sorry if that's too much information for some of you. ☺
I still consider tonights' workout a successful one though. I got out and ran. Not sure how much longer I'll keep running though. At this point the baby is about 5.5" long and almost 6 oz. We'll see as the baby gets bigger. Plus, it's summer here in California!
Next week is going to be an interesting one. Some family is coming for a visit...not sure when they are getting here or when they are leaving (oy!). I've been doing pretty well eating clean. If I had to put a percentage on it I'd say 85-90% of the time. Boy can I tell though when I eat something that isn't exactly "appropriate". My body lets me know! It gives me more reason to eat well....

Boo-Yeah!

So yeah, I kicked some running butt this morning! LOL. Kinda kidding, kinda not. I ran the same 5K that started things off for me last year. This was the first race I ran after my son was born, and the first I had run since I started losing weight after having him. If you want to read that post, you can here.Anyway, I had a blast today. The goal was to finish under 27 min. and my time was 26:37...3 min slower than my PR but 4:30 min faster than 1 yr ago. I ran strong, I placed 1st in my age group and I felt great. While I couldn't catch my "targets", I didn't let anyone pass me either. It made me chuckle when the guy that was hot on my heels told me after the race..."I was running like hell to try and catch you but it just wasn't happening!". I decided not to hurt his ego and mention I was 4.5 months pregnant :)
What a fabulous way to start the weekend. Hope everyone has a great one!