Sparkin' it up...

I burnt myself out on counting points. I felt like I couldn't eat much anymore so I've just been floating. Eating healthy (mostly) and kinda keeping track in my head what I'm eating. I wasn't feeling like it was very productive though in helping me get to my final goal weight. I needed more stucture again. So, I decided to change it up a little and try using SparkPeople. You can check it out here. I really like it. And the best thing, it's FREE! There are lots of helpful gadgets and they'll even provide you with meal plans if you want.
One thing I've come to realize on this journey is that you gotta shake things up sometimes. Tweak it till it starts working for you again. Just like anything else, you can become complacent. So if it seems like I'm getting lazy with something, I find a new angle. I read a new book. I try something else. And here's the thing, there's no perfect formula for everyone. Find what works for you and do it!

My Bad & My Good

I guess it's time to confess. Last night I slipped up. Me and pizza, we had an encounter... and it wasn't pretty! Analyzing my binge is helping me realize some triggers though. This is not about making excuses either. I chose to put the food in my mouth, no one forced me. As I was shoving food in my mouth I was already mad at myself, but it was almost compulsive. Thankfully, today I actually feel more in control. There have been a few little niggles to "EAT" excessively today, but I am not going to do that to myself. I felt so horrible last night and I don't want to feel that way again anytime soon. So here were some of the triggers....PMS (a big part), being off my normal routine (first the holidays and now hubby is home this week on vacation), waiting too long between meals till I was REALLY hungry, and finally, not stopping when I was full.
The funny thing is, I know the exact second when it turned from eating dinner to a pizza scarfing marathon. I made myself a nice big salad and ate it first before even touching the one piece of pizza on my plate. I got halfway through the piece and felt full. Instead of stopping though, I kept eating. It tasted really good and I hate to leave food on my plate when there are just a few bites left. And then there was something about that overly full feeling that just sent me over and I grabbed another piece, and another (you get the picture). I ate myself sick. Horrible, but true!
I even missed my run last night because I felt so gross. I probably would've thrown up if I'd attempted to run. So I ran tonight instead. I felt like throwing up today too, but for an entirely different reason, because I pushed so hard. And guess what, I set a personal record for myself... 3 miles in 22:42 (that's a 7:33 mile)! I don't know if it was the cold or the fact that I felt the need to pound it out on the pavement. I just kept saying {PUSH,PUSH} and {Gotta make up for the pizza} over and over in my head, and look what it got me, a record time.
Something I realized on my run, last nights' issues are going to make me stronger. It gives me insight to what I can do in the future to avoid going down the bad path. For now, I'm gonna bask in my post-run endorphins. Tomorrow I keep moving forward!

Let's go girls!

While I know the competition started on the 1st, I just thought I'd send out a quick update on the skinny mini challenge. There are 8 ladies competing. How awesome is that? I can't wait to see how everyone does. Here in the next few days I'm going to start working on the trophy and, I'm on the lookout for the perfect prize. Good luck girlies!

What about hashbrowns?

First off, I just want to say Thanks for the nice comments on my last post. It was good for me to see the comparison photos too because I don't always see the changes my body has been through when I look in the mirror. I've talked about it before, the mental disconnect between reality and what we see in our head. Even my husband kinda forgot what I used to look like 60 lbs ago. He walked in this morning and I had the pictures up on the screen. He stopped, did a double take and said.... "Whoa". It wasn't a bad thing though. It was more of a surprised reaction. He sees me every day so it's been a gradual shift as opposed to the stark contrast of the pictures. It was pretty funny to be honest. And, it was helpful later in the evening while we were cruisin' the grocery store for a few things.

• D- "Oooo, what about hash browns? Does that sound good? Are you gonna eat them if we buy them for dinner though?"
• Me- "We can get them if you want but I'm not going to have any."
• D- "Ugh, you make me so mad sometimes." (In a disgusted "why won't you eat all crap I want" tone of voice and shaking his head)
• Me- "Well dear, I can eat the hash browns and all the other junk in the cart and go back to looking just like I did in that picture. But, I really don't want too. That's not the way I eat anymore."

He got this look on his face and didn't say anymore on the subject. I kinda wonder what his reaction would be if I told him I decided to cut out both sugary treats and alcohol. I'm trying not to focus on it and make it a big deal. It's really not. I'm just taking each situation as it comes...saying no thanks to a Mudslide or half a candy bar and staying out of the ice cream is what I need to do right now to hit goal. I'm trying to teach myself control again. The holidays really wreaked havoc on my self control. To be perfectly honest though, I'd been letting the reins slip a bit the closer I got to goal. Fear of succeeding can make a person do interesting things. And, the mid-afternoon munchies are really killin' me the last few days. I'm not even really that hungry, I just want to eat. Today I started munching but pulled it together. Popping a piece of gum and drinking a cup of tea helped me ride it out. And, hubby did offer to help me make a veggie tray for easier and more healthy snacking options to combat the munchies. Wasn't that sweet?
Finally, I'm going to pull out the Star Wars quote again....Control, Control, you must learn Control! I think that's my motto for the week :) What about you?

Update from the weekend...

Anyone interested in my weekend? Well, it was great! It wasn't perfect (diet-wise), but things in life rarely are. I made decent food choices for the most part, which wasn't always easy. We left yesterday and headed out of town to see a show for a band that my husband loves. Anyway, the show was at a brewery. I'll admit, I had 3 pints. We were at a BREWERY! We did walk to the venue though, about a 1.5 round trip, and we rocked out pretty good too. I think the small things count.

A few other things I'm proud of.....I ate the good stuff and left the rest when my lunch came (normally I am a clean your plate freak, so this was a huge deal for me), I ate half of a wheat bagel with a bit of jelly instead of the whole white bagel slathered in cream cheese (or heaven forbid, one or two of the pastries), I also stuck to my plan and went for a 4 mile run when we got home, and I was able to buy myself a size Small band t-shirt. Wanna see? Wanna see? This is not the greatest pic of me...after a whirlwind trip and a run, but oh well! It was just awesome to have the shirt fit.
This was me 9 months ago...I NEVER would have been able to fit this shirt.
Sometimes you have to look back at where you came from. This is proof of the hard work I've done. And proof that I can get to my goal if I've come this far! And seriously, if I can do this, so can you!

Tested already!

SOOOO... about that no alcohol thing. Can I start that tomorrow? Hubby and I are going to a concert tonight. I truly didn't think I would get to go. We've been struggling, trying to find a sitter for the kids and it just wasn't happening. (The concert is 4 hours from home so it's an overnight thing). Anyway, we finally arrived at like plan G after exhausting all other options and thought, why not see if my grandma (the kids' great grandma) would come along. She agreed. So, she's going to stay at the hotel with the kids while hubby and I go out....how awesome is she!!
Now I have the decision to make...to drink or not to drink. Guess we'll see how I feel tonight. If I feel like it I will, if not then I won't. It just seems funny that as soon as I decide to cut the booze I have this come up. That's life though. But, regardless of whether I drink tonight, I'm gonna go out and have fun with my hubby! That's the thing I need to concentrate on.
Now, I gotta go and get everything packed....eeek, only a few hours till we hit the road! Have a great weekend everyone!

Healthy livin' in 2010

It seems like everyone is posting about their resolutions for 2010. I generally don't do the whole "New Years Resolution" list. But, I did some thinking on my run this morning (I know, scary huh?). Thinking about what I've been letting slide. Thinking about my goal weight. Just thinking about what I need to do to get comfortable in my own skin. So what did I figure out you ask? Here are a few of the high points.
First off, exercise makes me feel good so I need to make the time to do it. Having a race to train for really makes a difference so I need to make sure I am doing one every few months. Secondly, sugar is my enemy. I'm talking candy, cake, ice cream.....sweets (period). So I need to stay away because if I eat a little it opens a door that I have a hard time locking back down. And finally, I need to ditch the alcohol for a while. I don't drink alot, but lately I've been slipping back into the habit of a beer or two or a glass of wine in the evening. While this is not a big deal, I know that while losing weight I do better if I banish the alcohol altogether.
So there we have it, I guess I did make some resolutions for the new year.....exercise, no sugar, & no alcohol (till goal). Healthy living in 2010 if you want to boil it down. I'm using the Skinny Mini as a jumping off point. I've set my goal where I want to be by the end of the month and I am going to push, push, push to get there. It's not to late to join the party either. If you want to participate in the challenge email me by Monday Jan 4th. Let's kick off the new year right!